“how do you live here?”

last night was a yummy dinner in chinatown.

with a special group that has been together since the beginning of our newyorkcity life. we’ve learned a lot through one another here. and 3years later, we still are learning a lot through one another here.

we also had a sweet out-of-towner with us at dinner.
so, tell me. how do you guys do it? what is your favorite thing about the city?

the
energy.

if someone has an idea. friendships help you make it happen. we have friends establishing dream-careers and launching magazines, hair accessory businesses, non-profits, for-profits. and friends writing and producing films.

people help each other’s dreams and ambitions. whether it’s early morning or late night. someone is holding someone accountable to their dream. their goal.

the energy is just set up for that. and in one minute, a course can completely change. you never know what stranger you will meet that will help connect the dream-dots into even more of a reality. new yorkers understand other new yorkers. and there’s an unexpected sense of camaraderie that can be found while waiting to cross a street or while sitting on the B train.

so then, what is your least favorite thing about living here? what makes it hard.

the
energy.

you have to force yourself to find rest. to be still. to not always feel like you could be doing more. to be proud of what you’ve already done.

and this is hard. because there is always someone doing your dream longer and better while you’re resting. it seems that your competition is always practicing when you take a break. and you sometimes feel weak if you rest. like you’re inefficient with your time and energy and talents.

you have to force yourself to rejuvenate.

–

here’s the deal. someone told us this when we all first moved here. and it has been the best advice to be able to live well here. to have joy in the middle of all the happy and sad. beyond the excitement and frustrations.

you’re going to have a relationship with this city. whether you’re ready or not, you’re getting into a relationship. if you pack your suitcase for newyorkcity, you’re committing to a relationship. if you’re not ready, then go ahead and move home now.

because you’re going to fall in love quickly. the lights the energy the possibilities the diversity. it will all be beautifully lovely. it will awaken you.

and then the love will turn real. it won’t be all butterflies all the time. some days you will hate to love this city. and just as quickly as you’re thinking curse words and about to freak-out-and-jab-your-umbrella-into-the-crowded-subway-car, the butterflies will come back.

you will laugh outloud and by yourself as you look up
at some only-in-newyorkcity scenario.

in some hope of a moment
and in some shade of ray,
your love will parade on.

and when you can’t take it anymore, you get yourself out.
you pack an overnight bag and go camping. take a trip to anywhere. take a train outside for a day or two.

and then when you come back. when you cross a bridge back onto the island. you will remember all the reasons you love him. you will think

“i live here. i make life happen here. with all of my snug-city-neighbors. and days are good. we make it happen here.”

and if the day comes when you can’t remember why you love him when you see him after a vacation. and you don’t want to cross the bridge back onto the island, it’s time to take your love somewhere else.

you loved the city, and you loved it well. but there is no more room for change here. your breathing has slowed, and you’re all season-ed out.

and
it’s
okay.

you weren’t a city life-er afterall. some people commit to the city for life. some people don’t. it’s the risk you took when you bought the one-way ticket.

and when it’s time to move on to the next season, remind yourself that it’s alright. this is a good thing. it’s just time to let yourself change into another place.

–
addendum:
newsummersoundtrack.

[for you, TAJH]