the long run that i keep stashed underneath my desk.

i am so grateful for the serene escapes
amongst everyday chaos! such as reading parables
& psalms & proverbs & the vulnerably honest
writings of the apostle paul

& writing thoughts down in curves
that chase their own lines around
into a full circle

& watching friday night lights
on my smartphone

and running!
i keep a pair of running shoes tucked
underneath my desk for when my heart rate
needs some movement & stat. you know,

for when my mind needs
to relax & breathe &
decompress

before it turns not-so-pretty-emotions
into outwardly ugly frustrations.

where i feel like i can’t catch up.
i can’t get enough done. like i can’t
love enough or encourage enough or
check enough off the to-do list!

my parents say they’ve seen this in me for
most of my life. which is part encouraging
that i didn’t grow up into a crazy adult.

[but then part really not-encouraging to
think that i didn't grow out of this
as an adult!]

& since i can’t just walk
outside into my childhood culdesac
with a boom box & twirl batons
to sort it all out,

i keep a pair of running shoes
tucked underneath my desk. & a
sweet playlist on standby.

& yesterday, i decided to run
all the way home

from wall street to the
upper west side.

& i must tell you! ever since i ran
a half marathon a few years back,

my IT band & i have been focusing only on sprinting
short distances at the 3 or 4 mile mark tops.

but yesterday, i felt that my extra-curricular
heart beat
should shoot for the long haul
of 8 miles alongside my dear friend,
the hudson river.

ah, the place in the city where i can smell
salt water like florida & pass golf driving ranges on piers
& sailboats & kayaks & see the neighborhoods
& skyline as they change towards uptown.

now, i don’t always take the pro-active
route to find my way back to my happy center
obviously. but when i do, it is glorifying.

& there is something promising about the
momentum & perseverance & disciplined patience
of pushing through

for the distance
of the longer haul route.

plus, the full moon was there to guide
me all the long way home.

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